Self-criticism is a common pattern faced by those on the path of manifesting their dream. I guess it shouldn't be so surprising as we grow up going to school and having our performance judged and measured all along the way.
The thing is nobody is ever perfect in all ways. We're not meant to be perfect. We're just meant to be ourselves.
Self-criticism can take the wind from beneath your wings and cause you to doubt yourself, your actions and your worth. It can slow or even stop any true progress and movement toward your most heart-felt dreams.
By beginning to see this pattern of looking down on yourself, you are allowing yourself a new choice. A choice to give yourself a positive, encouraging message rather than a discouraging negative one. This allows you to create a much more joyful reality and helps you to move forward in the direction of your dreams with greater speed and confidence.
Imagine what true progress you can make toward your dreams if you have a mean little criticizer on your shoulder, watching and judging your every move. How motivated do you feel when you are put down?
I'm guessing not at all. So why do this to yourself?
Now I want you to imagine the progress you would make if you had a loving encouraging person beside you celebrating every little success you have, every little good thing you do, celebrating when you feel good and inspired, celebrating you for just being you!
Imagine the motivation and confidence you would feel with this kind of encouragement! Imagine how much easier the journey to your dreams would be.
You may think that if you judge your progress that you will be more perfect. The truth is, you will just be more held back, restrained, and your true passion will never come out.
Allow yourself to let go of the idea of perfection, and replace it with authenticity. Allow yourself to be you as you are. Do your best, but do not require perfection. Instead, give love and encouragement instead of judgement and criticism.
Why not begin today to set this voice of judgement aside?
Instead, choose to see yourself with eyes of love. Be that loving voice of encouragement and acknowledge only the good things you do. That criticizing part of us can come out all too often, better to begin to develop your own loving voice of support that can cancel out that critical part of you. A voice that helps you to move forward perhaps imperfectly, but at least it will be a move toward your dreams.
Take action!
Begin now by keeping a journal or paper nearby to write down all of the good things you are doing, the good things about yourself as you go about your day. Perhaps you can note your successes, however small and seemingly insignificant they might seem. Give yourself the gift of acknowledgement and appreciation of the good that you do.
Celebrate the small steps you take and you will only want to take more. And when you see yourself with love, you not only feel better, you have such a deep spiritual power rise up in you, a feeling that you can do anything.
So begin today to be more loving to yourself and you will enjoy a much more loving, joyful, abundant reality. Be more loving to yourself and you will find the motivation you need to do what it takes to create your most heart-felt dreams.
Jumat, 28 Desember 2007
Minggu, 23 Desember 2007
It Is Not What We Expect, But What We Are Willing To Accept In Life That Matters
All of us have got dreams we aspire to attain in our lives. These dreams come from people who inspire us. We may dream of making $20,000 a month, owning a luxury-y car and living in a million dollar mansion. At the same time, based on our beliefs, we also have what I call a 'level of acceptance'.
This 'level of acceptance' means that though you may aspire to earn $20,000 a month, you are willing to accept earning $3000 a month.
Although you would love to live in a million dollar house, you are quite willing to settle for a small apartment, Although you would love to be at an ideal weight of 65kg, you are willing to live life at 75kg.
You may set a goal to earn $20,000 but if you are willing to accept earning $3000, then $3000 is what you are going to end up getting. Why? Because the $3000 level of acceptance is what we make a 'must' for ourselves.
We will not allow ourselves to earn below that level of what we believe is our minimum. This is our tolerance level. The moment we think we are going to go below our acceptance level, our mind hits panic mode and we will do whatever it takes to get above that. Again, when we are committed to do whatever it takes, we will get it.
People who make $20,000 a month do so because to them, that is their level of acceptance That is what they believe they are worth. They will not accept anything less. They will never accept $5000 or even $10,000 a month. They will do whatever it takes to get the level they believe they deserve.
You Must Raise your Acceptance Levels.
Unless we raise our acceptance levels, we will never do what is necessary to achieve our goals. So if you want to make more money, you have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept. You have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept.
Be very honest with yourself, what is your current level of expectation and level of acceptance in the different areas of your life? Invest the time to reflect and to write down your thoughts.
If you want success to become your reality, make it so that you will never settle for anything less. Raise your level of acceptance to the level of your goals and you can't help but become successful.
This 'level of acceptance' means that though you may aspire to earn $20,000 a month, you are willing to accept earning $3000 a month.
Although you would love to live in a million dollar house, you are quite willing to settle for a small apartment, Although you would love to be at an ideal weight of 65kg, you are willing to live life at 75kg.
You may set a goal to earn $20,000 but if you are willing to accept earning $3000, then $3000 is what you are going to end up getting. Why? Because the $3000 level of acceptance is what we make a 'must' for ourselves.
We will not allow ourselves to earn below that level of what we believe is our minimum. This is our tolerance level. The moment we think we are going to go below our acceptance level, our mind hits panic mode and we will do whatever it takes to get above that. Again, when we are committed to do whatever it takes, we will get it.
People who make $20,000 a month do so because to them, that is their level of acceptance That is what they believe they are worth. They will not accept anything less. They will never accept $5000 or even $10,000 a month. They will do whatever it takes to get the level they believe they deserve.
You Must Raise your Acceptance Levels.
Unless we raise our acceptance levels, we will never do what is necessary to achieve our goals. So if you want to make more money, you have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept. You have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept.
Be very honest with yourself, what is your current level of expectation and level of acceptance in the different areas of your life? Invest the time to reflect and to write down your thoughts.
If you want success to become your reality, make it so that you will never settle for anything less. Raise your level of acceptance to the level of your goals and you can't help but become successful.
Multiple Intelligences Vs Emotional Intelligence
For many years, the only factor that was taken into account to judge a person's potential was that on Intelligence Quotient or IQ level, which only assesses reasoning capabilities. However, men are very complex creatures and it does not do justice to limit their assessment levels by making use of just one or two kinds of tests. There exist multiple kinds of intelligence levels in every human, and assessing each of these individually is a better way to judge the potential of success of a person.
Since people are a mix of different aspects of intelligence, some may be better at one kind than another. As the saying goes, one man's meat may be another's poison. A person may be great at social skills, but his reasoning skills may be low. This does not mean that he will not be successful in his life, it only means that he needs to recognize his strengths and weaknesses and choose an apt profession. Bosses who have the ability to tell these differences between their employees create winning companies.
The best we can do to evaluate multiple intelligences is to use interpersonal and intrapersonal assessments as a yardstick, the latter being the most assertive for this purpose.
Intrapersonal tests assess a person's ability to be totally in tune with his own self. Such people succeed more than those who do not have this self understanding. People who have such an understanding have a healthy state of mind where they are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and can judge for themselves which tasks suit them best and which do not.
They also have a keen sense of their own reactions to situations, and therefore are well in control of emotions such as anger which can be destructive. Such people who are in tune with their own selves are also able to tune in to the emotions of other people with a higher level of success, therefore making them good team leaders and successful managers to any company.
There is therefore little difference between intrapersonal relation and emotional intelligence. However, intrapersonal relation deals more with a realization of ones own self while emotional intelligence deals with emotions that create awareness for better judgments. However, the difference remains minimal. Intrapersonal skills could thus be labeled as a subset of emotional intelligence, and they are vital in creating a good understanding of maintaining relationships both personal and professional.
People with high levels of intrapersonal reasoning are people who can judge the emotions of others well, and this makes them good counselors and tutors. Such people when recognized are made leaders of other people, and more often than not they succeed in getting the best out of their subordinates at work, and the best out of their partners in social relations.
Since people are a mix of different aspects of intelligence, some may be better at one kind than another. As the saying goes, one man's meat may be another's poison. A person may be great at social skills, but his reasoning skills may be low. This does not mean that he will not be successful in his life, it only means that he needs to recognize his strengths and weaknesses and choose an apt profession. Bosses who have the ability to tell these differences between their employees create winning companies.
The best we can do to evaluate multiple intelligences is to use interpersonal and intrapersonal assessments as a yardstick, the latter being the most assertive for this purpose.
Intrapersonal tests assess a person's ability to be totally in tune with his own self. Such people succeed more than those who do not have this self understanding. People who have such an understanding have a healthy state of mind where they are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and can judge for themselves which tasks suit them best and which do not.
They also have a keen sense of their own reactions to situations, and therefore are well in control of emotions such as anger which can be destructive. Such people who are in tune with their own selves are also able to tune in to the emotions of other people with a higher level of success, therefore making them good team leaders and successful managers to any company.
There is therefore little difference between intrapersonal relation and emotional intelligence. However, intrapersonal relation deals more with a realization of ones own self while emotional intelligence deals with emotions that create awareness for better judgments. However, the difference remains minimal. Intrapersonal skills could thus be labeled as a subset of emotional intelligence, and they are vital in creating a good understanding of maintaining relationships both personal and professional.
People with high levels of intrapersonal reasoning are people who can judge the emotions of others well, and this makes them good counselors and tutors. Such people when recognized are made leaders of other people, and more often than not they succeed in getting the best out of their subordinates at work, and the best out of their partners in social relations.
Enrich Your Life By Reading Positive Thinking Quotes
We all like reading positive quotations don't we? Some times when we are down in life, reading positive quotations gives us reassurance that others have walked down this same path that we are on, and they came out on top. Why most of us love to read such quotes is also because we normally hear foolishness being said all around us, and when we hear something that is right, it stays in our mind for a long time. The effect of positive words is best demonstrated through such quotes.
The few words of positive quotations are enough to have a deep impact on our mindsets, and therefore in our lives as well. When we are down in life and read a positive quote, our spirits are overjoyed simply because of the directness and simplicity of the message. Not only are the quotes short in length and simple to read, they normally contain a good deal of wisdom that takes time to seep into our mind. People thus keep these quotes at the back of their mind for a few minutes after reading them, trying to work out the depth and wisdom of the message as they continue with their lives.
Winston Churchill once said, 'attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference', and that is so profoundly true in everyday life. The way we see life will effect every action that we plan out, and therefore affect the outcome of our lives in the long run.
Abraham Lincoln has famously quoted, 'I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.' These simple words tell us the beautiful fact that nobody can be totally bad. We can choose to look at the negative qualities of people and judge them hastily, or we can choose to seek the goodness in the same person and deal with that side of his persona.
'I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains'. These are the famous words found in Anne Frank's diary. Who could imagine a little girl with so much wisdom, that she had the peace to write this down in her diary during the Second World War? The fact that she was a Jew whose family was being persecuted by the Nazis makes it all the more surprising. If she could be so positive at such times, why do we let the smallest flaws in life get us down?
'All you can do is hurt me but pain doesn't last. It makes me stronger'. Stephen Donaldson wrote that in his book White Gold Wielder. It tells us that there is a positive to every wrong that is done unto us, in the fact that it makes us stronger emotionally, in the long run.
'If there is an effort there is always accomplishment'. These are the beautiful words of Jigoro Kono, the man who introduced Judo to this world. It tells us that not one of us, or the smallest of actions from the smallest of men, is insignificant. Every action has a reaction.
These are just a few examples of famous quotes that remain ever ready to inspire our lives when we feel the necessity.
The few words of positive quotations are enough to have a deep impact on our mindsets, and therefore in our lives as well. When we are down in life and read a positive quote, our spirits are overjoyed simply because of the directness and simplicity of the message. Not only are the quotes short in length and simple to read, they normally contain a good deal of wisdom that takes time to seep into our mind. People thus keep these quotes at the back of their mind for a few minutes after reading them, trying to work out the depth and wisdom of the message as they continue with their lives.
Winston Churchill once said, 'attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference', and that is so profoundly true in everyday life. The way we see life will effect every action that we plan out, and therefore affect the outcome of our lives in the long run.
Abraham Lincoln has famously quoted, 'I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.' These simple words tell us the beautiful fact that nobody can be totally bad. We can choose to look at the negative qualities of people and judge them hastily, or we can choose to seek the goodness in the same person and deal with that side of his persona.
'I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains'. These are the famous words found in Anne Frank's diary. Who could imagine a little girl with so much wisdom, that she had the peace to write this down in her diary during the Second World War? The fact that she was a Jew whose family was being persecuted by the Nazis makes it all the more surprising. If she could be so positive at such times, why do we let the smallest flaws in life get us down?
'All you can do is hurt me but pain doesn't last. It makes me stronger'. Stephen Donaldson wrote that in his book White Gold Wielder. It tells us that there is a positive to every wrong that is done unto us, in the fact that it makes us stronger emotionally, in the long run.
'If there is an effort there is always accomplishment'. These are the beautiful words of Jigoro Kono, the man who introduced Judo to this world. It tells us that not one of us, or the smallest of actions from the smallest of men, is insignificant. Every action has a reaction.
These are just a few examples of famous quotes that remain ever ready to inspire our lives when we feel the necessity.
5 Different Types Of Motivation To Drive You Towards Your Goals
Have you ever asked yourself what motivation is? It could be defined as the driving force that leads to an action. There is probably no better definition. It is the encouraging feeling that helps you to work towards your goals. Some of us consciously work towards motivating the self towards working better, while others simply do this automatically.
Some of us make an effort to justify our existence while others do this subconsciously. All of us have different factors that motivate us, so we need to understand that our unique personalities require unique kinds of motivation. Some of the kinds of motivation are as follows:
A. Achievement motivation: All of us have an in built desire to achieve something in life, and what we feel we need to achieve is relative to who we are as persons. What is easy for one to achieve could be difficult to another, but achievement is rarely looked upon as a motivation factor. However, when you have this desire to achieve, and when you recognize it as a driving force, nothing is impossible once you put your mind to it.
B. Motivation from society: Some of us are motivated to do better in life simply because we want to move up the social ladder. Others may be motivated to do something so that they can remain in their peer group. School kids are often motivated to better at academics just so they do not lose their group of friends, out of the fear that they may be held back one year. This is a simple example of motivation from society.
C. Motivation from promised incentives: When you know that you are going to be rewarded for doing something right, you make sure you do it right. This is called incentive motivation. Companies throughout the world offer their employees rewards or bonuses for completing projects before the set deadline, and this encourages the workers to work harder towards the goal. This is an example of incentive motivation at work.
D. Motivation from fear: Companies often use fear of punishment to motivate their employees. This could be looked upon as the opposite of incentive motivation and companies often use both forms hand in hand. While you could be rewarded for doing something right, you could well be penalized for doing it wrong. This is not as negative as it may sound, and is an efficient way of keeping employees sharp, and on their toes.
E. Motivation for change: Some of us are motivated to work hard towards achieving our goals because we are not happy with our immediate surrounding, and would love to see a change here.
As must be evident by now, there are many kinds of motivation factors that you could use to bring about a positive change. What works best for you however, can only be decided by your own self.
Some of us make an effort to justify our existence while others do this subconsciously. All of us have different factors that motivate us, so we need to understand that our unique personalities require unique kinds of motivation. Some of the kinds of motivation are as follows:
A. Achievement motivation: All of us have an in built desire to achieve something in life, and what we feel we need to achieve is relative to who we are as persons. What is easy for one to achieve could be difficult to another, but achievement is rarely looked upon as a motivation factor. However, when you have this desire to achieve, and when you recognize it as a driving force, nothing is impossible once you put your mind to it.
B. Motivation from society: Some of us are motivated to do better in life simply because we want to move up the social ladder. Others may be motivated to do something so that they can remain in their peer group. School kids are often motivated to better at academics just so they do not lose their group of friends, out of the fear that they may be held back one year. This is a simple example of motivation from society.
C. Motivation from promised incentives: When you know that you are going to be rewarded for doing something right, you make sure you do it right. This is called incentive motivation. Companies throughout the world offer their employees rewards or bonuses for completing projects before the set deadline, and this encourages the workers to work harder towards the goal. This is an example of incentive motivation at work.
D. Motivation from fear: Companies often use fear of punishment to motivate their employees. This could be looked upon as the opposite of incentive motivation and companies often use both forms hand in hand. While you could be rewarded for doing something right, you could well be penalized for doing it wrong. This is not as negative as it may sound, and is an efficient way of keeping employees sharp, and on their toes.
E. Motivation for change: Some of us are motivated to work hard towards achieving our goals because we are not happy with our immediate surrounding, and would love to see a change here.
As must be evident by now, there are many kinds of motivation factors that you could use to bring about a positive change. What works best for you however, can only be decided by your own self.
Sabtu, 22 Desember 2007
The Value of Thinking and Feeling Positive
Thinking and emotion go hand in hand. A negative mood activates negative thinking and a positive mood calls forth positive thinking. Does it matter if you are in a negative mood thinking negative thoughts or in a positive mood thinking positive thoughts? Is one better than the other? Is there value in thinking and feeling positive?
Emotions Have Evolutionary Value
Negative emotions have evolutionary value. Negative emotions like fear, loss, and aggression activate the flight or fight response. When we experience negative emotions, we have a feeling of aversion, which sets us on course to identify what is wrong and eliminate it. Negative emotions and thinking are associated with a survival alert that activates a reaction to fight, flight or conserve - each reaction with obvious evolutionary value.
Positive emotions also have evolutionary advantage. They "broaden and build." Experiencing positive emotions increases our survival chances because positive emotions broaden our intellectual, physical, and social resources and build reserves for us to draw upon.
Experiencing positive emotions increases our drive for exploration and discovery and provides the basis for positive social interactions. When we experience positive emotions, we become more tolerant, expansive, and creative. The more positive emotion we experience the more open to new ideas and new experiences we become.
Negative emotions narrow our perspective to focus only on the immediate threat. When negative emotions are experienced, we withdraw, freeze, or protect. As we experience positive emotions, we feel safe and engage in active, playful exploration, and discovery. Negative emotions contract and positive emotions expand.
Positive emotions form the experiential foundation for mentally healthy people. Positive emotions provide a foundation for growth and exploration and build the intellectual, social, and physical capital for further growth and development.
When we experience negative emotions, they tell us to deal with what is wrong and eliminate it. When we experience positive emotions, we start looking for the virtues of what is happening. We become constructive, generous, un-defensive, and open to seeing possibilities.
Experiencing positive emotions gives us an entirely different way of thinking from a negative mood. A negative mood makes us attentive to threats in our environment and focuses our thoughts on protection. A positive mood moves us into thoughts about growth and development, exploration and discovery.
Positive Emotions Build Resources and Capital for the Future
Positive emotions build the resources and capital that will become the basis for growth and development in years to come. When we feel and think positive, we reach outward and broaden our resources through exploration and discovery. We are more creative, think quicker, and do not succumb to premature closure or other forms of superficial intellectual processing.
Depressed people experience what is called a "downward spiral" of negative emotions. Depressed emotions call forth negative memories that feed more negative thoughts, that feed more negative memories, that feed more depressed emotions. Breaking this downward spiral is crucial to stopping the depression.
Psychologists have found what they call an upward spiral of positive emotion. Positive emotions produce a different way of thinking and acting. The thinking becomes creative and broad-minded, and the actions become adventurous and exploratory. This increased creativity and exploration results in greater expansion.
Often negative emotions and thinking are taken more seriously because traditionally they have been believed to be the evolutionary backbone of human motivation. It was believed that people are motivated primarily to avoid experiencing negative emotions and that positive motivation was merely superficial.
But positive emotions are just as real, authentic and important as negative emotions and are equally important for development, growth, and success.
Positive Emotions Lead to More Successful Interactions in the World
Experiencing more positive emotion results in more friendships, stronger love, better physical health, and more successful interactions in the world accompanied by a sense of mastery. Growth, positive development, and creative and successful interactions in the world (i.e. mental health) may have their foundations in the experience of positive emotions and thinking.
Happy people tend to view themselves subjectively as more successful in the world. Happy people remember more good events than actually happened and forget more of the bad events that happened Happy people see success as lasting, personal and pervasive and failure as impersonal, temporary and specific. Happy people may lose a bit of realism but this does not lock them into ineffective functioning. Happy people are more likely to switch tactics when involved in a task that appears to be failing. In the normal course of events, happy people rely on their tried and true positive past experiences while less happy people are more skeptical. However, when events are threatening, happy people, more readily than less happy people, switch tactics and adopt a skeptical and analytical frame of mind. Happy people can deal better with adversity.
Happier people are markedly more satisfied with their jobs than less happy people. Happiness inceases productivity and results in higher income. Happiness also makes gainful employment and higher income more likely. Both adults and children who are in a good mood select higher goals, perform better, and persist longer on a variety of tasks.
Happy People Are Healthier
Positive emotions result in better physical health. Positive emotions are predictive of health and longevity and protect people from the wear and tear of aging. Positive emotions strongly predict who lives longer, who dies earlier, and who will become disabled. Happy people are more likely to seek out and make use of health risk information. Happy people have better health habits, lower blood pressure, and stronger immune systems than less happy people. They endure pain better and take more health and safety precautions when threatened. Positive emotions and thinking prolong life and improve health.
Happy People Are More Connected With Others
Very happy people differ markedly from average people and from unhappy people in one principle way - a rich and fulfilling social life and more secure relationships. Happy people have more close and casual friends, are more likely to be married, and are more involved in group activities than unhappy people. Happy people are also more altruistic. When we are in a good mood we are less focused on ourselves, we like others more and we want to be kinder and share our good fortune with others. However, when we are experiencing negative emotions and thinking we become distrustful, turn inward and become defensive about our own needs.
Focusing on Positive Emotions
Positive emotions undo negative emotions and reduce the negative physical and psychological stresses of negative experiences. Negative emotions tell you that you are facing a win-loss encounter and need to take steps to engage with the obstacles. Positive emotions and thinking allow you to see a potential win-win situation.
Positive emotions and thinking guide you to be more expansive, tolerant, and creative and maximize the social, intellectual, and physical benefits of the situation. Positive emotions and thoughts provide both the fuel and the raw material for experiencing more growth and development, more exploration and discovery, more mastery and successful interactions in the world. So, yes, there is a great deal of value in feeling good and positive thinking. Go for it!
Emotions Have Evolutionary Value
Negative emotions have evolutionary value. Negative emotions like fear, loss, and aggression activate the flight or fight response. When we experience negative emotions, we have a feeling of aversion, which sets us on course to identify what is wrong and eliminate it. Negative emotions and thinking are associated with a survival alert that activates a reaction to fight, flight or conserve - each reaction with obvious evolutionary value.
Positive emotions also have evolutionary advantage. They "broaden and build." Experiencing positive emotions increases our survival chances because positive emotions broaden our intellectual, physical, and social resources and build reserves for us to draw upon.
Experiencing positive emotions increases our drive for exploration and discovery and provides the basis for positive social interactions. When we experience positive emotions, we become more tolerant, expansive, and creative. The more positive emotion we experience the more open to new ideas and new experiences we become.
Negative emotions narrow our perspective to focus only on the immediate threat. When negative emotions are experienced, we withdraw, freeze, or protect. As we experience positive emotions, we feel safe and engage in active, playful exploration, and discovery. Negative emotions contract and positive emotions expand.
Positive emotions form the experiential foundation for mentally healthy people. Positive emotions provide a foundation for growth and exploration and build the intellectual, social, and physical capital for further growth and development.
When we experience negative emotions, they tell us to deal with what is wrong and eliminate it. When we experience positive emotions, we start looking for the virtues of what is happening. We become constructive, generous, un-defensive, and open to seeing possibilities.
Experiencing positive emotions gives us an entirely different way of thinking from a negative mood. A negative mood makes us attentive to threats in our environment and focuses our thoughts on protection. A positive mood moves us into thoughts about growth and development, exploration and discovery.
Positive Emotions Build Resources and Capital for the Future
Positive emotions build the resources and capital that will become the basis for growth and development in years to come. When we feel and think positive, we reach outward and broaden our resources through exploration and discovery. We are more creative, think quicker, and do not succumb to premature closure or other forms of superficial intellectual processing.
Depressed people experience what is called a "downward spiral" of negative emotions. Depressed emotions call forth negative memories that feed more negative thoughts, that feed more negative memories, that feed more depressed emotions. Breaking this downward spiral is crucial to stopping the depression.
Psychologists have found what they call an upward spiral of positive emotion. Positive emotions produce a different way of thinking and acting. The thinking becomes creative and broad-minded, and the actions become adventurous and exploratory. This increased creativity and exploration results in greater expansion.
Often negative emotions and thinking are taken more seriously because traditionally they have been believed to be the evolutionary backbone of human motivation. It was believed that people are motivated primarily to avoid experiencing negative emotions and that positive motivation was merely superficial.
But positive emotions are just as real, authentic and important as negative emotions and are equally important for development, growth, and success.
Positive Emotions Lead to More Successful Interactions in the World
Experiencing more positive emotion results in more friendships, stronger love, better physical health, and more successful interactions in the world accompanied by a sense of mastery. Growth, positive development, and creative and successful interactions in the world (i.e. mental health) may have their foundations in the experience of positive emotions and thinking.
Happy people tend to view themselves subjectively as more successful in the world. Happy people remember more good events than actually happened and forget more of the bad events that happened Happy people see success as lasting, personal and pervasive and failure as impersonal, temporary and specific. Happy people may lose a bit of realism but this does not lock them into ineffective functioning. Happy people are more likely to switch tactics when involved in a task that appears to be failing. In the normal course of events, happy people rely on their tried and true positive past experiences while less happy people are more skeptical. However, when events are threatening, happy people, more readily than less happy people, switch tactics and adopt a skeptical and analytical frame of mind. Happy people can deal better with adversity.
Happier people are markedly more satisfied with their jobs than less happy people. Happiness inceases productivity and results in higher income. Happiness also makes gainful employment and higher income more likely. Both adults and children who are in a good mood select higher goals, perform better, and persist longer on a variety of tasks.
Happy People Are Healthier
Positive emotions result in better physical health. Positive emotions are predictive of health and longevity and protect people from the wear and tear of aging. Positive emotions strongly predict who lives longer, who dies earlier, and who will become disabled. Happy people are more likely to seek out and make use of health risk information. Happy people have better health habits, lower blood pressure, and stronger immune systems than less happy people. They endure pain better and take more health and safety precautions when threatened. Positive emotions and thinking prolong life and improve health.
Happy People Are More Connected With Others
Very happy people differ markedly from average people and from unhappy people in one principle way - a rich and fulfilling social life and more secure relationships. Happy people have more close and casual friends, are more likely to be married, and are more involved in group activities than unhappy people. Happy people are also more altruistic. When we are in a good mood we are less focused on ourselves, we like others more and we want to be kinder and share our good fortune with others. However, when we are experiencing negative emotions and thinking we become distrustful, turn inward and become defensive about our own needs.
Focusing on Positive Emotions
Positive emotions undo negative emotions and reduce the negative physical and psychological stresses of negative experiences. Negative emotions tell you that you are facing a win-loss encounter and need to take steps to engage with the obstacles. Positive emotions and thinking allow you to see a potential win-win situation.
Positive emotions and thinking guide you to be more expansive, tolerant, and creative and maximize the social, intellectual, and physical benefits of the situation. Positive emotions and thoughts provide both the fuel and the raw material for experiencing more growth and development, more exploration and discovery, more mastery and successful interactions in the world. So, yes, there is a great deal of value in feeling good and positive thinking. Go for it!
Don't You Quit!
“A man who has nothing to die for is not fit to live.”
—Martin Luther
You sat in that secret corner of your room. You felt the bubbles of excitement in your pumping machine (your heart) because an idea that will change the course of your life is replaying itself every three seconds between your ears. So full of life, you took a pen and a notebook, putting down your great idea in black and white. You set a target for yourself, a deadline and a date. You were so excited because of your dreams. And out you go with made plans and a determination to succeed.
After so many attempts, you seem to realize that things are not what you think they are. You realize that just like there are two sides to a coin, same with life. Simply because life has tossed challenges, which you call failures, your way, you chose to join the crew that believes every set plan is nothing but some alphabets and figures written on blank pages. More to say, you accepted the wrong notion that all doors leading to your success are shut, that the world won’t see your dreams. And you decided to quit, abandoning your quest. You actually conceded to the word “defeat.” You said to your despairing heart “ I am a failure.”
Of course you are right to have felt that way but before you tumble into a world of nightmares, before you cease to breathe life into your ideas, before you start seeing your-burnt-out-self depending on the monthly pay for the unemployed from Uncle Sam, lets go over a couple of ifs.
If Abraham Lincoln gave up so soon, he would not have been elected president of United States.
If Arnold Swazzenegger despaired after his first workout in the gym, he would not be the master of body builders. And he would not have been anywhere close to being the Governor of California State.
If Tim Berners Lee, the man who developed the World Wide Web, ended his career so soon because of disappointments, you would not now be surfing on the Internet. You would not be reading this either. Probably, electronics messaging would still remain in the horizon of the future.
If all great men, since the dawn of time, had given up so soon, where do you think civilization would be, back in the thirties or forties? Do you think you would have some weird country music, R and B and rap music on your disc man while on the train or bus? No! Everything would be back to the very beginning, millions of years before the birth of Ishmael and Isaac. One thing I know for sure, we would all be living comfortably –or uncomfortably, a negative word I rarely say—in caves, sharing authority with Simba, the Lion King. Our Mark and Spencer suits and fur coats would be replaced by some smelly animal skin dried in the sun. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? If you dare life that way, you can click your mouse and this page will vanish from your screen, never to be seen again. But if you don’t, then read on.
If you have chosen to read on, this is what I have to say.
Hold on to your dreams! Refuse to quit. Quitters never win and winners never quit. Take your time. Take a long walk. If you live in the city like me, take your long walk through city blocks. If you are in the countryside, you have a better advantage. Take the long walk through that vast field, befriending nature on the way.
Don’t just walk tucking your hands in your jacket pocket like a detective. No! Go over those plans of yours again and again as you walk. Rewrite if need be, there is great power in writing down. Don’t tell me you have a retentive memory. Write them down. You already have so much in your head, so write your dreams and plans down, paste it where you can see it everyday. Over the washing sink: beside that mirror, your restroom door. Paste it on your computer so you could see it as you chat with friends.
Then set out to bring it to past, ignoring those mountains, for mountains (which are your challenges) most times are made out of molehills and storms in teacups.
Tell yourself, “ I won’t quit until I get what I want. There is a YES behind every no and a solution to every pressing problem confronting me. I will find it.” Close your eyes, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I have crossed the rubicon, and there’s no going back. I will either get a big hit with my plans or I will have to hang on longer than Abraham Lincoln.”
Say to yourself, “ I have gone too far from where I started from and I’m not giving up. Never!”
And as you seek your dreams with hands and feet unwearied by labors, remember that the dawn is not far in coming.
Each Moment Is To Be Treasured
Let us grasp and treasure each precious moment of our lives. The previous moment is gone and the next is on its way. In truth, all we ever really have is this exact, precise moment in time.
It is what we choose to do with each moment that determines what our future will be. This moment, now, is in our power. We use this moment to decide what we will do in the next moment, and it flows into the next moment.
We have no power over what has already happened and cannot foresee the future. Take the lessons learned from past moments and apply them to the current moment. Forget all the rest because it is in the past and nothing can be done to change it. What we do now will have some effect on our future, however we cannot predict the outcome with any degree of certainty.
In view of the preceding, take each moment as it comes and squeeze it for all you can get out of it. Even the most dreadful of times are bearable when taken one moment at a time.
Self Improvement, Success And Self Approval
Every one of us is involved in some for of self improvement or personal development. This is true of you whether it is something you currently realise or not! If you have any desires, dreams or goals then you are striving to better yourself, your environment or your world and this we call self improvement.
However, there is one key area of your life that stops you from progressing in a fast and effective manner towards your desires, dreams and goals. I will now highlight this obstacle and show you how to effectively remove it forever so that you can create the life you want!
One of the worst things you can do when you need to motivate yourself to reach your long held goals and dreams is to criticize yourself. This is a pattern that has been taught to you since you were very young with school tests, grading, placement in your class and class evaluations. Teachers, parents and peers constantly compared you to others as if that was a way of gauging your true worth. This kind of personal evaluation probably continues to this day with employment superiors over-viewing your work, progress and most likely conducting some form of personal evaluation.
This view of assessing your strengths and weaknesses, although probably well-intentioned, has set a pattern within your own mind for self-criticism and self-doubt. Are you in a perpetual state of comparison? Do you find yourslef comparing how you perform to the performance of other people? Do you beat yourself up for not having attained the same level of success as those around you or those you view from afar? Are you disappointed in yourself when you fail to achieve exactly what you set out to achieve in the time you gave yourself?
Being self-critical can cause untold damage in your life. Criticism, regardless of what area of yourself or your life you have focused it, has a ripple effect that damages all other areas. By believing you are less than you should be you are sending a very strong message to your subconscious mind that you are just not good enough. Such a belief halts your progress towards your desires. It leaves you feeling frustrated and extremely unhappy. If you are really and truly not good enough then how could you ever change anything? If you are not good enough then there can be no way for you to change yourself, your circumstances or your life.
The first step to overcoming this self-defeating pattern of thinking and feeling is to become aware that it is there. Look carefully at yourself and how you interact with yourself internally. Notice when you have a tendency to berate yourself. When you notice yourself comparing your behaviour, talents, abilities or results to those of someone else immediately stop. Only judge your own performance. If you must compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself with yourself. Look for how you have improved. If you give a task everything you've got and do your best then you are already a success regardless of the outcome. You have stretched yourself and your personal self-imposed boundaries.
Keep a journal of all your goals and list the success you have already created. When you can look back at where you once were and see the improvement that you have made personally then your confidence will be increased and your self-esteem will rocket. If you compare yourself to someone else then bare in mind that you do not know the other person's circumstances. You do not know what advantages they had when they began, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. Even if these people did overcome serious adversity to achieve the same things that you now want take it as a positive sign. If they did it then so can you!
Try to encourage yourself when you are faced with a challenge. The difference between internal criticism and internal encouragement can mean the difference between a life of fear, dread, discouragement, pain, frustration and a life filled with abundance, joy, peace and harmony.
Giving yourself approval takes practise, so start right now. If you look at what you are doing when you criticize yourself it is really a form of self-disapproval. Approving and disapproving are just choices. You make them internally and you can re-make them in a different way. Approving of yourself is just a choice ' make that choice now!
Give yourself approval just because you can. Many times we disapprove of ourselves and others for little or no reason so turn that around. Begin to give yourself approval just because you are you. Can you imagine how differently you will view the world through the eyes of self-approval? Can you guess what kind of strides forward you can make in your life with an internal voice of encouragement? Do you think you, your family, friends and work colleges would benefit from you taking this new radical approach to how you view yourself?
If you take this approach to yourself the progress you make will astound you and you will find yourself happier, more peaceful and will undoubtedly be surprised at what life gives you back. Your personal development is assured!
However, there is one key area of your life that stops you from progressing in a fast and effective manner towards your desires, dreams and goals. I will now highlight this obstacle and show you how to effectively remove it forever so that you can create the life you want!
One of the worst things you can do when you need to motivate yourself to reach your long held goals and dreams is to criticize yourself. This is a pattern that has been taught to you since you were very young with school tests, grading, placement in your class and class evaluations. Teachers, parents and peers constantly compared you to others as if that was a way of gauging your true worth. This kind of personal evaluation probably continues to this day with employment superiors over-viewing your work, progress and most likely conducting some form of personal evaluation.
This view of assessing your strengths and weaknesses, although probably well-intentioned, has set a pattern within your own mind for self-criticism and self-doubt. Are you in a perpetual state of comparison? Do you find yourslef comparing how you perform to the performance of other people? Do you beat yourself up for not having attained the same level of success as those around you or those you view from afar? Are you disappointed in yourself when you fail to achieve exactly what you set out to achieve in the time you gave yourself?
Being self-critical can cause untold damage in your life. Criticism, regardless of what area of yourself or your life you have focused it, has a ripple effect that damages all other areas. By believing you are less than you should be you are sending a very strong message to your subconscious mind that you are just not good enough. Such a belief halts your progress towards your desires. It leaves you feeling frustrated and extremely unhappy. If you are really and truly not good enough then how could you ever change anything? If you are not good enough then there can be no way for you to change yourself, your circumstances or your life.
The first step to overcoming this self-defeating pattern of thinking and feeling is to become aware that it is there. Look carefully at yourself and how you interact with yourself internally. Notice when you have a tendency to berate yourself. When you notice yourself comparing your behaviour, talents, abilities or results to those of someone else immediately stop. Only judge your own performance. If you must compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself with yourself. Look for how you have improved. If you give a task everything you've got and do your best then you are already a success regardless of the outcome. You have stretched yourself and your personal self-imposed boundaries.
Keep a journal of all your goals and list the success you have already created. When you can look back at where you once were and see the improvement that you have made personally then your confidence will be increased and your self-esteem will rocket. If you compare yourself to someone else then bare in mind that you do not know the other person's circumstances. You do not know what advantages they had when they began, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. Even if these people did overcome serious adversity to achieve the same things that you now want take it as a positive sign. If they did it then so can you!
Try to encourage yourself when you are faced with a challenge. The difference between internal criticism and internal encouragement can mean the difference between a life of fear, dread, discouragement, pain, frustration and a life filled with abundance, joy, peace and harmony.
Giving yourself approval takes practise, so start right now. If you look at what you are doing when you criticize yourself it is really a form of self-disapproval. Approving and disapproving are just choices. You make them internally and you can re-make them in a different way. Approving of yourself is just a choice ' make that choice now!
Give yourself approval just because you can. Many times we disapprove of ourselves and others for little or no reason so turn that around. Begin to give yourself approval just because you are you. Can you imagine how differently you will view the world through the eyes of self-approval? Can you guess what kind of strides forward you can make in your life with an internal voice of encouragement? Do you think you, your family, friends and work colleges would benefit from you taking this new radical approach to how you view yourself?
If you take this approach to yourself the progress you make will astound you and you will find yourself happier, more peaceful and will undoubtedly be surprised at what life gives you back. Your personal development is assured!
The Real Secret of Getting What You Want In Life
Have you ever heard the old saying, "If you don't ask, you don't get!"?
It's well worth taking heed of because far too many of us are afraid to ask for the things we need in order to succeed in life. Asking questions can open doors and bring to us the opportunities that without doubt are already out there. So why do we find it so hard?
The chances are that if you went to a good school you were always encouraged to ask questions. If you didn't quite understand what the teacher was telling you the only way to get it was to ask the meaning. As a Dad I certainly urge my sons to ask questions, it's the only way to learn.
But maybe as a child it's easy to say you don't understand and accept that you don't know something. Then it's easy to do something about it, ask for help and find the solution.
But sadly as we get older we stop asking! Maybe it's because we feel that as adults we should know what things mean and how to do them and so we don't want to appear foolish, particularly in front of our friends, family or work colleagues.
Or perhaps we have just stopped caring enough to want to learn new things and gain new experiences. It's sad, because when you do start to ask you usually start to get!
Sure, we all ask for things every day. We have to when we go shopping, go to the cinema, or go to a restaurant. But we only ask for the simple things!
Take that last example. When you go to a restaurant and see something on the menu that is unfamiliar do you ask the waiter what it is? Congratulations if you do, but most people will simply pass it over and stick with what they know. That's an opportunity lost!
And how many times, when in conversation with a group of people has something been mentioned that you don't understand? Instead of saying so and asking for an explanation it's so easy to just stay quiet and stay ignorant. Another chance wasted!
It's true isn't it? You just don't want to appear foolish.
Well it's time to change!
If you really want to move forward then you need to learn new things every day. You need to broaden your horizons, take on new experiences and discover all you need to get where you want to be.
So start asking. Ask what things mean, how to do them, and above all ask for the things you want in life.
The fact is that one of the keys to good conversation is asking questions. People won't think you're dumb or get annoyed. Instead they'll warm to you and you'll soon find that you are gaining all sorts of benefits. So don't be afraid to raise questions. Ask especially about the topics that you need to find out about to help you to achieve your goals.
Ask why, ask who, ask what. All those questions will get people talking and you'll soon to start to learn lots of new facts and information. You'll gain new knowledge and you'll discover new opportunities that will bring success to your life. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
So why not start right now by asking yourself some searching questions. Ask what it is you really want in life and what you need to do to get it. Search inside to find what will really bring you the happiness and fulfillment you desire. Because if you don't know what motivates you then you won't get to where you want to be.
So ask, and very soon you will begin to "get"!
It's well worth taking heed of because far too many of us are afraid to ask for the things we need in order to succeed in life. Asking questions can open doors and bring to us the opportunities that without doubt are already out there. So why do we find it so hard?
The chances are that if you went to a good school you were always encouraged to ask questions. If you didn't quite understand what the teacher was telling you the only way to get it was to ask the meaning. As a Dad I certainly urge my sons to ask questions, it's the only way to learn.
But maybe as a child it's easy to say you don't understand and accept that you don't know something. Then it's easy to do something about it, ask for help and find the solution.
But sadly as we get older we stop asking! Maybe it's because we feel that as adults we should know what things mean and how to do them and so we don't want to appear foolish, particularly in front of our friends, family or work colleagues.
Or perhaps we have just stopped caring enough to want to learn new things and gain new experiences. It's sad, because when you do start to ask you usually start to get!
Sure, we all ask for things every day. We have to when we go shopping, go to the cinema, or go to a restaurant. But we only ask for the simple things!
Take that last example. When you go to a restaurant and see something on the menu that is unfamiliar do you ask the waiter what it is? Congratulations if you do, but most people will simply pass it over and stick with what they know. That's an opportunity lost!
And how many times, when in conversation with a group of people has something been mentioned that you don't understand? Instead of saying so and asking for an explanation it's so easy to just stay quiet and stay ignorant. Another chance wasted!
It's true isn't it? You just don't want to appear foolish.
Well it's time to change!
If you really want to move forward then you need to learn new things every day. You need to broaden your horizons, take on new experiences and discover all you need to get where you want to be.
So start asking. Ask what things mean, how to do them, and above all ask for the things you want in life.
The fact is that one of the keys to good conversation is asking questions. People won't think you're dumb or get annoyed. Instead they'll warm to you and you'll soon find that you are gaining all sorts of benefits. So don't be afraid to raise questions. Ask especially about the topics that you need to find out about to help you to achieve your goals.
Ask why, ask who, ask what. All those questions will get people talking and you'll soon to start to learn lots of new facts and information. You'll gain new knowledge and you'll discover new opportunities that will bring success to your life. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
So why not start right now by asking yourself some searching questions. Ask what it is you really want in life and what you need to do to get it. Search inside to find what will really bring you the happiness and fulfillment you desire. Because if you don't know what motivates you then you won't get to where you want to be.
So ask, and very soon you will begin to "get"!
The Art of Thankfulness
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate to discuss a defining characteristic of successful people that I've met worldwide. I've found that successful and joyous people are usually very skilled at counting their blessings. They focus on what's right about their life instead of what's wrong.
Why is this important?
It goes back to the incredibly simple but undeniably profound thought expressed in Earl Nightingale's great album The Strangest Secret. He said that "you become what you think about all day long." If you think about that, you'll realize it's true- the dominant thoughts that live in your mind will definitely manifest themselves in your life. Nightingale was certainly not the first or the only one to express this thought, either. It's been reflected in most of the great wisdom literature throughout the ages. The Book of Proverbs says "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." William James, the father of 20th century American psychology said that "if you change a person's thoughts you change their Life". There are countless quotes and examples that tell us the same thing- the things we dwell on mentally are what we attract into our lives. So when you learn to consciously focus on the things you are thankful for, you get more of them!
So how can we systematically direct our thoughts to these kinds of things? I've got three tips for you:
1) Write out a "gratitude list". Sit down with your family or some friends and simply create a list of things in life that you are thankful for. Don't rule anything out, big or small. Even if it seems silly, put it on the list. Just this simple act will do wonders for your attitude. It's a great Thanksgiving activity, plus you can look at it later for an immediate gratitude boost.
2) Watch your self talk. Your brain is talking to you 24/7, so monitor and exercise some influence over what it's saying. Especially first thing in the morning, when you tell yourself "This is gonna be a great day!" it has an immediate and profound effect on your mindset. If you need a little reminder, refer back to your gratitude list.
3) Do something nice for someone else. Abraham Lincoln said that "It is impossible to lift the burden of another without also lifting your own." So go out of your way to do someone a favor- even a small one. Send a card to a co-worker, open a door for a stranger, pay the highway toll for the lady behind you. Anything of that nature. The smile you get in return will remind you of the things that are great about people.
Above all, keep in mind what Thanksgiving is really all about- giving thanks. When you focus on the things you are thankful for, you attract more of them into your Life. Try it out, and…
Be Free!
Do You Need to Be Successful?
Success is different thing to different people.
It may be making a million dollar from business venture.
It may be achieving the position of influence and respect in one's corporate career.
It may be climbing the tallest mountain in the world.
It may be simply being happy at whatever one is doing, no matter how insignificance it may be to other people.
It may be to fulfill one's passion of pursuing a hobby as a career, such as cutting the first music album or publishing the first book.
I have seen people in high corporate positions, living unfulfilled life year after year engaging in the rat race, only looking forward to retirement in the distance future.
I have seen hawker store helpers who seem to live simply but happily, always serving customers with joy and passion.
I have seem people who quit from a successful corporate job to teach yoga, go teaching, be a writer or painter, etc.
Are they successful?
The real question you should ask yourself is, does it matter whether you are successful or not?
If the answer is yes, then the next question is: Who does it matter, yourself or other people?
Most people wanted success not for themselves, but for others.
It is hence important to ask yourself: What kind of success do you want?
Are you asking deep inside your heart how you define success?
Is your definition of success dependent on other people's perceptions?
I always remember and concur with what the singer, Kit Chan said about success: "Success is the courage to pursue one's dream boldly". Despite this inspiration verse being over used and may even sounds like a cliché, I like the beauty of its simplicity.
>From more than twenty years experience of pondering, searching and achieving varies level of success, I have found that success is never a static concept. It takes different forms at different stages of one's life. While success can have many definitions, the sure fire way of failure is to be too mindful of how others perceive and judge our success and failure.
This is unfortunately the weakness of many people. Few people dare to be different. Most people tend to like to bask in the comfort of being among the majority, doing the things that most people do and feel accepted.
It is human nature to want to feel accepted. After all, who wants to do anything that receive disapproval from everyone else? On the other hand, the need to conform to the majority view is often the killer for individuality. If one is afraid to be different, how can he ever achieve anything outstanding?
The mainstream media likes to portray "successful people" as someone who has characteristically achieved certain level of wealth, power or fame in the society. And so people without a critical thinking mind, or the so-called unenlightened, would elect the pursuit of wealth, power and fame as the ultimate life goals.
There is no greater misery than being trapped within the conventional perception of success.
How many in high corporate positions find it almost impossible to free themselves from the bondage of the endless energy-sapping ego games in the corporate world, regardless of how much their inner-self detest it?
People who are more spiritually attuned started searching inward to ask what they really want in their life. Their drive and courage to find true freedom eventually prompted them to take bold and criticism-defying actions to embark on a new direction in life.
In takes a considerable amount of courage because their friends, colleagues, spouse, or parents would likely not approved of what they choose to do. Nevertheless, with enlightened faith, they forge ahead to pursue their dreams. With unwavering determination, they finally find the real success in life, which brings them true happiness and fulfillment. To them, they are "retired" because they are no longer working for a living. Instead, they are indulging in a hobby or passion and make a comfortable living out of it.
As for those who are deeply entrenched in the trapping of corporate "success" and perks, it is rare that many would take on a route of enlightenment. Instead, they would usually motivate themselves further to strive harder, become more politically savvy and meaner, so that they are able to acquire whatever status and wealth that society expected of them. So they thought.
The undeniable reality is, their soul is dying inside. They may know it, for which they choose to ignore because the "price is simply to high to let go". Or, they may not even be aware, having been hopelessly hypnotized by the society's definition of success, and totally oblivious to the nagging voice within.
It is not difficult to observe this irony of life simply from the amount of information in the media about retirement planning.
The reason why everybody is talking about retirement is because "work" is being defined as something unpleasant and something which people will choose not to do if they can afford to. Pursuing hobbies do not fall into the category of work. Hence, everybody is planning long and hard to "hopefully have enough to retire one day". Some invest their hard earn money in unit trust investment, having tremendous faith in the fund management experts. Some who do not foresee themselves able to ever earn enough to retire will resort to buying TOTO, Big Sweep or 4D. These are the perfectly legal means of achieving the goal of retirement. I really respect these people who, despite being disadvantaged in the competitive game of life, never give up on the chance to find improvement in their life.
So, what is your definition of success?
Are your goals of success meant to gain applauds and admiration from others?
Or to bring fulfillment deep within your heart?
Or simply to stay safely among the mainstream lifestyle of the society?
Defining success is far more difficult than attaining it. People often chase after their tail for success, always seems to be reaching but never. Many had spend a considerable number of years achieving what they started out to do but find little meaning or fulfillment when they finally reached their goals.
If you have not ask yourself this question because you are "too busy", it is worthwhile to give some priority to it now.
If you have long been dissatisfied with you job, it is a tell tale sign that you may be climbing the wrong ladder of success. It is a poor choice to numb yourself to the situation.
Everyone have within his reach to live a successful life, if only he can define it.
It may be making a million dollar from business venture.
It may be achieving the position of influence and respect in one's corporate career.
It may be climbing the tallest mountain in the world.
It may be simply being happy at whatever one is doing, no matter how insignificance it may be to other people.
It may be to fulfill one's passion of pursuing a hobby as a career, such as cutting the first music album or publishing the first book.
I have seen people in high corporate positions, living unfulfilled life year after year engaging in the rat race, only looking forward to retirement in the distance future.
I have seen hawker store helpers who seem to live simply but happily, always serving customers with joy and passion.
I have seem people who quit from a successful corporate job to teach yoga, go teaching, be a writer or painter, etc.
Are they successful?
The real question you should ask yourself is, does it matter whether you are successful or not?
If the answer is yes, then the next question is: Who does it matter, yourself or other people?
Most people wanted success not for themselves, but for others.
It is hence important to ask yourself: What kind of success do you want?
Are you asking deep inside your heart how you define success?
Is your definition of success dependent on other people's perceptions?
I always remember and concur with what the singer, Kit Chan said about success: "Success is the courage to pursue one's dream boldly". Despite this inspiration verse being over used and may even sounds like a cliché, I like the beauty of its simplicity.
>From more than twenty years experience of pondering, searching and achieving varies level of success, I have found that success is never a static concept. It takes different forms at different stages of one's life. While success can have many definitions, the sure fire way of failure is to be too mindful of how others perceive and judge our success and failure.
This is unfortunately the weakness of many people. Few people dare to be different. Most people tend to like to bask in the comfort of being among the majority, doing the things that most people do and feel accepted.
It is human nature to want to feel accepted. After all, who wants to do anything that receive disapproval from everyone else? On the other hand, the need to conform to the majority view is often the killer for individuality. If one is afraid to be different, how can he ever achieve anything outstanding?
The mainstream media likes to portray "successful people" as someone who has characteristically achieved certain level of wealth, power or fame in the society. And so people without a critical thinking mind, or the so-called unenlightened, would elect the pursuit of wealth, power and fame as the ultimate life goals.
There is no greater misery than being trapped within the conventional perception of success.
How many in high corporate positions find it almost impossible to free themselves from the bondage of the endless energy-sapping ego games in the corporate world, regardless of how much their inner-self detest it?
People who are more spiritually attuned started searching inward to ask what they really want in their life. Their drive and courage to find true freedom eventually prompted them to take bold and criticism-defying actions to embark on a new direction in life.
In takes a considerable amount of courage because their friends, colleagues, spouse, or parents would likely not approved of what they choose to do. Nevertheless, with enlightened faith, they forge ahead to pursue their dreams. With unwavering determination, they finally find the real success in life, which brings them true happiness and fulfillment. To them, they are "retired" because they are no longer working for a living. Instead, they are indulging in a hobby or passion and make a comfortable living out of it.
As for those who are deeply entrenched in the trapping of corporate "success" and perks, it is rare that many would take on a route of enlightenment. Instead, they would usually motivate themselves further to strive harder, become more politically savvy and meaner, so that they are able to acquire whatever status and wealth that society expected of them. So they thought.
The undeniable reality is, their soul is dying inside. They may know it, for which they choose to ignore because the "price is simply to high to let go". Or, they may not even be aware, having been hopelessly hypnotized by the society's definition of success, and totally oblivious to the nagging voice within.
It is not difficult to observe this irony of life simply from the amount of information in the media about retirement planning.
The reason why everybody is talking about retirement is because "work" is being defined as something unpleasant and something which people will choose not to do if they can afford to. Pursuing hobbies do not fall into the category of work. Hence, everybody is planning long and hard to "hopefully have enough to retire one day". Some invest their hard earn money in unit trust investment, having tremendous faith in the fund management experts. Some who do not foresee themselves able to ever earn enough to retire will resort to buying TOTO, Big Sweep or 4D. These are the perfectly legal means of achieving the goal of retirement. I really respect these people who, despite being disadvantaged in the competitive game of life, never give up on the chance to find improvement in their life.
So, what is your definition of success?
Are your goals of success meant to gain applauds and admiration from others?
Or to bring fulfillment deep within your heart?
Or simply to stay safely among the mainstream lifestyle of the society?
Defining success is far more difficult than attaining it. People often chase after their tail for success, always seems to be reaching but never. Many had spend a considerable number of years achieving what they started out to do but find little meaning or fulfillment when they finally reached their goals.
If you have not ask yourself this question because you are "too busy", it is worthwhile to give some priority to it now.
If you have long been dissatisfied with you job, it is a tell tale sign that you may be climbing the wrong ladder of success. It is a poor choice to numb yourself to the situation.
Everyone have within his reach to live a successful life, if only he can define it.
Secret Success Strategy
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-Mark Twain
FOCUS + FEELING + ACTION = ATTRACTION
While I don’t believe in pat formulas for success, I’d like to share some ingredients for attracting more of what we want in life. It goes like this: whatever we FOCUS on, FEEL, and ACT on, we ATTRACT. Call it ‘a recipe for success’ if you will. (Not "THE" recipe, but "A" recipe). If any of these ingredients are missing, there’s less chance of manifesting what you want.
If you have the mental focus (i.e. you write down your goals/objectives, put them in a visible place, say your daily mantras/affirmations) but lack the feeling of what it would actually be like to accomplish your goal, you can say your affirmations till your blue in the face and nothing would happen.
Likewise if you have powerful feelings and are doing lots of activity but are lacking focus and direction, you will burn out fast without accomplishing much. In fact, if you’re focus is misplaced, you could end up courting disaster. Take a look at professional race car driving. Some of the deadliest accidents occur right when drivers are rounding the curve. Some of the inexperienced drivers, as they are rounding the curve, will stay visually focused on the curve they are trying to clear. And guess what happens? You got it…they end up smashing right into the curve! More experienced professionals will immediately shift their focus in the opposite direction of the curve and thus get past it. Are you focusing on your problems or solutions?
If you have the focus and feeling down pat (your doing your mantras, writing your goals, developed your plan, are experiencing passionate feelings of reaching your desired objective) but are not taking daily and consistent action towards your goal, again you will always be coming just short of your desired outcome.
There are some extras that I’d like to add. If after you’ve done everything humanly possible, you place your FAITH and trust in the natural process that creates all things, and stop worrying and fretting, you will attract more of what you want in abundance. Think about it, would you plant a flower seed in the soil, and after a week of waiting, watering, and giving it lots of love and sunshine, dig it up and yell, "WHY AREN’T YOU GROWING! YOU’RE USELESS!"? Well, isn’t that what we do with our own dreams sometimes?
Finally, if you add the HERO ingredient of SERVING others, of reaching your dreams by also helping others and creating value for other people, you will live a much more fulfilling life. We can certainly attract the stuff we want in life, but without giving back to the community or helping others along the way, we can often be left with a shallow, empty feeling inside.
-Mark Twain
FOCUS + FEELING + ACTION = ATTRACTION
While I don’t believe in pat formulas for success, I’d like to share some ingredients for attracting more of what we want in life. It goes like this: whatever we FOCUS on, FEEL, and ACT on, we ATTRACT. Call it ‘a recipe for success’ if you will. (Not "THE" recipe, but "A" recipe). If any of these ingredients are missing, there’s less chance of manifesting what you want.
If you have the mental focus (i.e. you write down your goals/objectives, put them in a visible place, say your daily mantras/affirmations) but lack the feeling of what it would actually be like to accomplish your goal, you can say your affirmations till your blue in the face and nothing would happen.
Likewise if you have powerful feelings and are doing lots of activity but are lacking focus and direction, you will burn out fast without accomplishing much. In fact, if you’re focus is misplaced, you could end up courting disaster. Take a look at professional race car driving. Some of the deadliest accidents occur right when drivers are rounding the curve. Some of the inexperienced drivers, as they are rounding the curve, will stay visually focused on the curve they are trying to clear. And guess what happens? You got it…they end up smashing right into the curve! More experienced professionals will immediately shift their focus in the opposite direction of the curve and thus get past it. Are you focusing on your problems or solutions?
If you have the focus and feeling down pat (your doing your mantras, writing your goals, developed your plan, are experiencing passionate feelings of reaching your desired objective) but are not taking daily and consistent action towards your goal, again you will always be coming just short of your desired outcome.
There are some extras that I’d like to add. If after you’ve done everything humanly possible, you place your FAITH and trust in the natural process that creates all things, and stop worrying and fretting, you will attract more of what you want in abundance. Think about it, would you plant a flower seed in the soil, and after a week of waiting, watering, and giving it lots of love and sunshine, dig it up and yell, "WHY AREN’T YOU GROWING! YOU’RE USELESS!"? Well, isn’t that what we do with our own dreams sometimes?
Finally, if you add the HERO ingredient of SERVING others, of reaching your dreams by also helping others and creating value for other people, you will live a much more fulfilling life. We can certainly attract the stuff we want in life, but without giving back to the community or helping others along the way, we can often be left with a shallow, empty feeling inside.
10 Ways To Make You Feel Happy
It is a known fact that our health is being effected by the degree of happiness we feel inside of us. We know that the happier we are, the healthier we become. The more we can avoid a stressful life and live happy the more disease resistant we are.
If we go through turbulent times in our lives most of us are able to find peace in the idea that bad times will pass eventually.
However it is important for us to realize that we have the power to change if we choose to.
If we want to feel happy our social environment is of course of the utmost importance. Therefore we must learn to be less judgmental about the people we care for and learn to accept them the way they are. After all we are all unique individuals.
So, make the decision to be a happy person and follow the self motivation tips here under. Use them as self motivation exercise in order to acquire the necessary self motivation skills, which will help you to become a much more happy and healthy person.
- Be Grateful
There is so much to be grateful for. Take some time each day to think about the things that are good in your life. Make a list of these things and look at it from time to time, so that you are regularly reminded.
Take some time to specially thank the cook for preparing you that wonderful dinner, thank the taxi driver or the friend who drove you home safely, thank the dustman for taking away your garbage, thank the mailman for bringing you your mail each day. By doing this you will make a shift and feel different inside.
- Laugh As Much As You Can
We all know the expression: Laughter is the best medicine. So, if you know a good joke, tell it to your friends and family. Also try to see the humor in some of your own funny habits. Believe me, we have some real peculiar ones.
- Exercise
Run, jog, go to the gym or do something that stimulates the endorphins in your body. By doing regular exercise you change your physiology, you change your body chemicals, which will make you feel different, so you start focusing on different things.
- Leave The News For What It Is
Are you one of these people who can not start the day without having to know what’s going on in the world? Let go of that urge. News is stressful. Over 99% of it is bad news. Believe me, you can do without it.
- Practice Time Management
One thing we all have in common is that we share the same amount of hours in a day and the same amount of days in a year and although we say it often enough, we don’t realize enough that time is far too valuable to waste.
Time Management is basically a list of rules. And the rules of it can help us to waste less time. First we have to set our goals, then we need to plan them, we have to make our To Do lists and we need to prioritize them.
If you use these basic skills you will be able to work through and finish your list on a daily basis, which will help you to experience feelings of happiness and contentment.
- Work Hard
Working hard creates enormous personal satisfaction. When you have finished certain tasks you will feel that you are capable to accomplish things. And that will help to have a sense of value about ourselves.
- Learn New Things
Learning is an enriching exercise. Try to learn something new each day. It will literally expand your world and it will create more opportunities for you in the long term. Use the internet, for instance. It can provide us with infinite amounts of information.
- Express Your Feelings
Learn to express what you feel. Learn to show affection and warmth to the people around you and in that let go of your fears. Remember that fear is our worst advisor and it’s bad for our health.
- Find Spiritual Connections
It would be good for you to find some sort of spiritual connection. By being in touch with spirituality on a regular basis you would foster deep inner peace. Part of this could be meditation, which is a great way to gain inner peace.
- Help Other People
Each individual feels energized, good and warm about himself after helping another person. Be a volunteer somewhere, be a practical or financial help to someone or see how you can otherwise contribute to society. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
I hope this article is of value to you and I hope you realize that these self motivation tips are the key to happiness. Therefore I recommend you to use these ways as self motivation exercise in order to obtain the necessary self motivation skills.
If we go through turbulent times in our lives most of us are able to find peace in the idea that bad times will pass eventually.
However it is important for us to realize that we have the power to change if we choose to.
If we want to feel happy our social environment is of course of the utmost importance. Therefore we must learn to be less judgmental about the people we care for and learn to accept them the way they are. After all we are all unique individuals.
So, make the decision to be a happy person and follow the self motivation tips here under. Use them as self motivation exercise in order to acquire the necessary self motivation skills, which will help you to become a much more happy and healthy person.
- Be Grateful
There is so much to be grateful for. Take some time each day to think about the things that are good in your life. Make a list of these things and look at it from time to time, so that you are regularly reminded.
Take some time to specially thank the cook for preparing you that wonderful dinner, thank the taxi driver or the friend who drove you home safely, thank the dustman for taking away your garbage, thank the mailman for bringing you your mail each day. By doing this you will make a shift and feel different inside.
- Laugh As Much As You Can
We all know the expression: Laughter is the best medicine. So, if you know a good joke, tell it to your friends and family. Also try to see the humor in some of your own funny habits. Believe me, we have some real peculiar ones.
- Exercise
Run, jog, go to the gym or do something that stimulates the endorphins in your body. By doing regular exercise you change your physiology, you change your body chemicals, which will make you feel different, so you start focusing on different things.
- Leave The News For What It Is
Are you one of these people who can not start the day without having to know what’s going on in the world? Let go of that urge. News is stressful. Over 99% of it is bad news. Believe me, you can do without it.
- Practice Time Management
One thing we all have in common is that we share the same amount of hours in a day and the same amount of days in a year and although we say it often enough, we don’t realize enough that time is far too valuable to waste.
Time Management is basically a list of rules. And the rules of it can help us to waste less time. First we have to set our goals, then we need to plan them, we have to make our To Do lists and we need to prioritize them.
If you use these basic skills you will be able to work through and finish your list on a daily basis, which will help you to experience feelings of happiness and contentment.
- Work Hard
Working hard creates enormous personal satisfaction. When you have finished certain tasks you will feel that you are capable to accomplish things. And that will help to have a sense of value about ourselves.
- Learn New Things
Learning is an enriching exercise. Try to learn something new each day. It will literally expand your world and it will create more opportunities for you in the long term. Use the internet, for instance. It can provide us with infinite amounts of information.
- Express Your Feelings
Learn to express what you feel. Learn to show affection and warmth to the people around you and in that let go of your fears. Remember that fear is our worst advisor and it’s bad for our health.
- Find Spiritual Connections
It would be good for you to find some sort of spiritual connection. By being in touch with spirituality on a regular basis you would foster deep inner peace. Part of this could be meditation, which is a great way to gain inner peace.
- Help Other People
Each individual feels energized, good and warm about himself after helping another person. Be a volunteer somewhere, be a practical or financial help to someone or see how you can otherwise contribute to society. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
I hope this article is of value to you and I hope you realize that these self motivation tips are the key to happiness. Therefore I recommend you to use these ways as self motivation exercise in order to obtain the necessary self motivation skills.
The Power of Positive Thinking
Although you can see that the glass is half-empty, you chose to see it in a positive way. It is still half-full, anyway. The absence of half of the volume of water didn’t even bother you. What mattered was that it still contains water. If this is how you answered the question above and how you justified your answer, then you have a positive way of thinking.
Positive thinking is a way of looking at the brighter side of life. Everything is good, beautiful, and light. There are no worries, problems, or fears. In short, all you see and believe in is, well, positive. I guess that’s already the most suitable word in describing this way of thinking, which is why it is the term being used.
This kind of thinking is very powerful in that if you think that you are going to pass an exam, you are going to pass; if you think that you’ll get noticed by your crush, you’ll get noticed; if you think you will get promoted at work, then you’ll get promoted. This is how powerful the mind is, particularly positive mind. Even the famous Clint Eastwood believes in this general truth that he quoted, “If you think it’s going to rain, it will.”
So, how does the power of positive thinking works? How can it create reality? Do we only have to think of positive things and then will it happen right away? That positive thinking really is powerful may be somehow hard to believe at first, that’s why we may ask certain questions like those above. Because the mind is working on the information you send it, positive thinking leads to positive reality. This is how it works. Yes, we do have to really think of positive things. But it doesn’t stop there.
Remember the ever-famous cliché “Do your best and God will do the rest”? You know, it’s true. Aside from believing in and having faith in something we want to happen, we have to do something about it. You can’t ace an exam just by sitting on the couch and watching TV days before taking it, can you?
Let us take into account again the computer as a metaphor of the human mind. The mind is like a computer, this time due to the fact that we can program it with certain functions and tasks. Sometimes, it even acts as our autopilot. For instance, we use it when we drive and talk on a mobile phone at the same time. Therefore, we can program it with whatever we want to happen.
Say, for example, you want to be attractive. Thus, you say to yourself “I can be beautiful, healthy and slim.” But for this positive thinking to work, you can’t just leave it at that. You still need to do something. You need the right self-programming: “I can be beautiful, healthy, and slim if… (a) I’ll take enough rest every night; (b) I’ll eat proper balance diet; (c) I’ll do exercises; (d) I’ll brush my teeth every after meal; etc.” And if all these thoughts sink into your system, you’ll see that they wouldn’t be far from happening.
Mind power implies will power. With positive thinking, one does not stop with I can or I am. There will always be an I will after it in which it will cause the realization of his aspirations.
Positive thinking is a powerful tool that helps us build the life we want. It can make us beautiful and smart. It can get us the dream job with the excellent salary we always dreamed of. It can help us find our one true love. But we have to use them properly and we have to continue working with them regularly - to the point where it becomes such a habit that we ought to say them all the time. Isn’t it better maintaining such thoughts than keeping worthless ideas inside our head – the stuff we keep thinking about but doesn't really help us accomplish anything and, in many cases, may actually push us backwards?
We should also understand that some affirmations take some time to take effect. It really depends on where we are and what we want to accomplish. For example, if you're unemployed yet want to be a millionaire, well, in reality, it will take quite some time. You have to get a job first, and from there, start making the big money and earn the millions you want. Successes usually not happen overnight. So the first step is to focus on how we can accomplish our goal. If we are on the right place, plus we possess the right attitude, then it won’t be too far.
Success is Simple
Psychologist Arnold H. Glasgow has said, "Success is simple: do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
That's a simple concept, yet very profound.
The quote lays out three easy steps to simplify success, but those steps must be integrated to work effectively ' you can't afford to skip even one of them.
The first step is to do what is right. If you skip the FIRST and most important step, you're eliminating your chances to succeed.
But how do you know what is right for you?
Simply put, the decisions you make every day must match with your true purpose in life. Every action you take must enhance and solidify who you are and what you were meant to accomplish in this life.
When you have a purpose, your actions naturally become more powerful because they are focused and united to fulfill a sole objective. Consequently, you achieve faster and better results.
The second step is to do it the right way. If you skip this step, you'll find yourself in a never-ending loop of trial and error where you'll just keep re-inventing the wheel, instead of re-inventing yourself.
It has often been said that the easiest way to become successful is to find someone who is already successful and follow in his footsteps.
Take that advice and learn from the best. Look for successful people who have reached the same level of success you want to reach, and learn from both their mistakes and their accomplishments. Imitate their lives, learn their methods, and discover their secrets.
The third and last simple step to success is to choose the right time. Take small actions every single day that lead you toward fulfilling your purpose. Prepare yourself so that when the right opportunity presents itself, you'll be ready to seize it and ride it to unimaginable levels of success. The right time to start taking action is NOW. Even the smallest action can make a big difference. Don't worry about the magnitude of your every move; focus instead on the collective power of all your small actions combined.
"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
Do what is right by discovering your true purpose in life.
Do it the right way by learning from the best.
Do it at the right time by taking small actions and preparing yourself to seize opportunity when it presents itself.
Can success be that simple?
It can be if you start NOW!
That's a simple concept, yet very profound.
The quote lays out three easy steps to simplify success, but those steps must be integrated to work effectively ' you can't afford to skip even one of them.
The first step is to do what is right. If you skip the FIRST and most important step, you're eliminating your chances to succeed.
But how do you know what is right for you?
Simply put, the decisions you make every day must match with your true purpose in life. Every action you take must enhance and solidify who you are and what you were meant to accomplish in this life.
When you have a purpose, your actions naturally become more powerful because they are focused and united to fulfill a sole objective. Consequently, you achieve faster and better results.
The second step is to do it the right way. If you skip this step, you'll find yourself in a never-ending loop of trial and error where you'll just keep re-inventing the wheel, instead of re-inventing yourself.
It has often been said that the easiest way to become successful is to find someone who is already successful and follow in his footsteps.
Take that advice and learn from the best. Look for successful people who have reached the same level of success you want to reach, and learn from both their mistakes and their accomplishments. Imitate their lives, learn their methods, and discover their secrets.
The third and last simple step to success is to choose the right time. Take small actions every single day that lead you toward fulfilling your purpose. Prepare yourself so that when the right opportunity presents itself, you'll be ready to seize it and ride it to unimaginable levels of success. The right time to start taking action is NOW. Even the smallest action can make a big difference. Don't worry about the magnitude of your every move; focus instead on the collective power of all your small actions combined.
"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
Do what is right by discovering your true purpose in life.
Do it the right way by learning from the best.
Do it at the right time by taking small actions and preparing yourself to seize opportunity when it presents itself.
Can success be that simple?
It can be if you start NOW!
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